I don’t think I will write too much tonight. The day has exhausted me in different ways, and I’ve just found out I will be preaching on Sunday, so am going to try and get some rest and spend tomorrow morning in preparation before the conference starts.

I had the opportunity to visit one of the genocide memorials today. I was met by one of the UGBR volunteers, called ‘Bien-Fait’ – what a great name – which is the French translation of his father’s name in Kinyarwanda. We walked up the road to where many of the government ministry buildings are found to catch a ‘taxi’ – which in reality is a small Daihatsu van with 4 rows of seats crammed into it. I thought the taxi was packed, until we stopped again to let another two people on!

As we walked the last part, up hill to the memorial site, I asked Bien-Fait if he was living in Rwanda at the time of the genocide. It was at this point, only yards away from being confronted with the details of Rwanda’s horrific recent history, that I discovered that Bien-Fait lost both parents and siblings in the genocide. I think that just about set the tone for what was to be a difficult and moving experience.

The memorial site is a fantastic resource and a great tribute to Rwanda, tracing its history from pre-colonial times, through German colonialisation in 1895, to the genocide and beyond. It was shocking to be reminded how avoidable this devastating event was, and how much blame the international community must take for ignoring what happened here, and responding in an unhelpful and untimely manner. It is said that the number of troops that evacuated expatriate workers and dignataries of the regime that orchestrated the genocide, would have been enough – given the proper mandate – to have stopped this terrible event from happening in the first place.

There was a room that contained the remains of some of the unidentified victims, another room with rows and rows of photos of victims, and another with some of their last belongings, which included a child’s “Superman” duvet cover. Upstairs there was a tribute to some of the children, some as young as 9 months old, who were tortured and killed in unimaginable ways. Walking around it is difficult to believe that humans are really capable of this level of brutality to children, some of whom were considered family friends.

Outside I discovered that this site is the burial place of more than 300,000 victims. There is a wall that holds the names of some of those who have been identified, but the scale of the remainder of the wall is a painful reminder of how many people are buried here without even the dignity of their identity.

There was simply too much for me to comprehend and accept, both intellectually and emotionally. Bien-Fait had been my guide, but for nearly two hours barely a word had been spoken between us.

I don’t think I am going to write much more than that today – I think I need a bit more time to fully appreciate what I have seen and heard.

The afternoon was spent in a meeting of the regional staff and general secretaries. I’ve been doing my best to follow the discussions in French (and even contribute in a couple of places!), so I am just about spent.

The day has been a bit overwhelming, and I returned to my room feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted. It’s strange how times like that can affect you, and I sat here – having spent nearly all day with people – feeling lonely.

I would really appreciate your prayers over the next couple of days. I really don’t feel capable of preaching on Sunday (so maybe it’s good I’m preaching on 2 Corinthians 4!), and I’ve realised today how tiring it is going to be observing and participating in a conference conducted in French. However, on the positive side, I am so grateful that at the times when it has really mattered, I have known your prayers in having the confidence and ability to converse in French.

Que Dieu vous benisse. A demain.